Hidemi’s Rambling by Hidemi Woods

Singer, Songwriter and Author from Kyoto, Japan.

Lost and Found hr654

on May 20, 2022
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

The unprecedented has happened.

The prefecture where I reside in Japan has rolled out its travel stimulus benefit to help the struggling tourism industry that covers almost all the travel costs. Although I had given up going on a trip since my income decreased tremendously, the benefit allowed me to book a gorgeous hotel in the city for practically free by clearing some small detailed conditions. I was overjoyed by this unexpected luck and preparing for the trip.

A few days before the trip, I noticed my clothespin was missing at the locker room of the communal spa in my apartment building. I used it to close my bag every evening there and it seemed I had dropped it somewhere between my apartment and the communal spa. I thought of returning to look for it but I was already naked. I didn’t want to put on clothes all over again just for a clothespin. As it was too cheap for someone to keep for themselves, I guessed I would find it where I had dropped it on my way back to my apartment, and took a bath. Nevertheless, all that I could think of was the clothespin while I was in the spa. I seemed attached to it more than I had thought. Also, losing something wasn’t a pleasant feeling no matter how petty the thing was. By the time I hurried out of the spa and back to my apartment while looking for the clothespin, what I wanted most in the world was that clothespin. Sadly, I couldn’t find it. I entered my apartment, disheartened by the loss. And my partner said from the back of the apartment, “Something of yours was left there.” I saw the clothespin on the floor of the hallway. I picked it up as if it were a gem, feeling so happy. On top of that, some of the items that I had put up on the online flea market were sold on the same evening. It was a relief for me because they hadn’t been sold for some time and I had been worried. The day turned out to be wonderful, I thought. But it didn’t end there.

I have hypersensitivity to sound and hear high-pitched sounds boosted. While I get almost no income as a musician, I ironically have a full-fledged occupational hazard as one. I am especially sensitive to children’s shrieking and I reflectively shush them when I hear it. My partner has been recently watching a musical TV show before going to bed. Inevitably the sound has reached my ears every night. The female singing voices from the show have annoyed me immensely. I had wished the series would end soon, but it has gone on and on. On the night of that wonderful day, the female singers were hollering and blaring my favorite song ‘That’s Life’ on the show. It sounded awful and I felt their performance was a disgrace to that supreme piece. I couldn’t take it any more and snapped. I yelled at my partner and we quarreled, which was the first fight with him in a long time. With such a small thing, the whole day was ruined. To be precise, I ruined the day with it.

I am not an atheist, but not so religious either. I simply can’t help feeling that something with great power is watching over me. Although it gave me a grandly wonderful day, I didn’t appreciate it, not to mention I ruined it. I was sure that it would take away what it had given me as a punishment for such an arrogant, faithless reaction of mine. In light of what happened today, the punishment would be losing my possession of much more importance than a clothespin and be no more sales at the flea market. I was convinced those two matters would happen to me soon anyway though I regretted bitterly and apologized to that something for what I did.

A couple of days later, I set off for a two-day trip to the city. I dashed out of my apartment by jamming my accessories into my bag as the bus to catch was coming and there was no time to put them on. At the bus stop, two women were chatting loudly while I was taking a mask out of my bag to wear it. I shushed them as usual and got on the bus. I was putting my accessories in my seat and saw my pendant missing. I rummaged through my bag where I had put it, but it didn’t appear. On the bus, in the train, and at the hotel, I kept searching for it by turning out all my belongings, but couldn’t find it. I lost my favorite, most cherished pendant. And I knew it was coming. The punishment. It did happen.

I tried to see how I had lost it, and recalled taking out a mask at the bus stop. That was the only time I took something out of my bag before getting on the bus and the only chance something else could be out with it. I also remembered I was shushing others at that time. I realized again how unappreciative I had been. I was given a practically free trip and still got discontented. Come to think of it, I had managed to live despite financial difficulties and other problems. I had been constantly rescued by something but never appreciated but disregarded because of dissatisfaction. Now I found myself having been so perverse. I asked for forgiveness and determined to be grateful for everything from now on. During the short trip, I learned that much by the punishment and came home the next day with the firm determination to be a better person.

I came into my apartment and turned on the light. On the floor of the entrance, I found the pendant. It had never been in my bag. But it was apparent to me that something returned it to me. Soon after that, another sale was made on the flea market. I was awed by the mercy I received. I was forgiven. A financial crunch that assaulted me had often made me doubt that something. Yet, it still surely watches over me. Since the trip, I have kept my determination and appreciated everything. I haven’t shushed people but smiled. Then, it seems people have become nicer to me and days fuller.

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15 responses to “Lost and Found hr654

  1. lynnfay73 says:

    I feel like this a lot. A lot of things do go wrong, but I’m blessed mostly and think I don’t appreciate it enough. My spirituality comes in the form of synchronicity like this. And a few really fortuitous things happened lately I need to be more grateful for. It’s not so much I feel punished is that my attitude is keeping me out of the positive flow of life and I’m hurting myself. I do feel I’m not a good enough person. Nice post.

    • Hidemi Woods says:

      Thank you for a thoughtful comment. I’m glad we share the same feeling. I think realizing that we’re not good enough and trying to be would lead to the positive flow. In that respect, you’re blessed already. Thanks again. Best wishes.

  2. Hidemi, I love that you’re being sensitive to your own flaws (We all have them) and to the “something” who wants better things for you. I know that “something” as SomeONE. I would love for you to know Him, too.
    I think you already have a sense of what He is like. He is very quick to forgive, and eager to bless those who turn to Him.
    I have experienced His love and loved Him for over 50 years, so it is hard to tell in a few words what He is like. But knowing Him is the most precious relationship in my life.
    His name is Jesus.
    I know there are a lot of religions and world views people follow, so why Jesus? He’s the only One who could pay for my sins so I can be forgiven. I can’t live a life good enough to earn my way to eternal life in heaven. I will always fall short – we all do. The only way for me to be clean is for my sins to be paid for.
    The bad news is, I can’t pay for them. I can’t do enough good things to make up for the bad. The good news is, I don’t have to. Jesus did it for me. When Jesus, the perfect Son of God, was crucified (killed), His sacrifice was enough to pay for my sins and the sins of anyone and everyone who would believe in Him. NO one else ever loved me enough to do that.
    When I believed in Him and gave Him my life, I was “born again” into this new life. He helps me appreciate and enjoy the little things as though they were huge things (like your clothes pin). He makes the hard times less of a struggle, because I know I’m not going through them alone. When I’m afraid, I turn to Him, and I am not so afraid. I know that if He loved me enough to die for me, He’s not going to abandon me now.
    Even death is not the end. Jesus is the only religious leader who rose from the dead, to show that believing in Him, we could, too, and we will be with Him forever! ❤ So He is my hope for the future as well.
    From what you've written here, it sounds as though He is wanting to make Himself known to you. I hope what I've just written here will help shed some light on your experiences. If you would like to pursue this further, please feel free to email me at bascha3870@yahoo.com.

    Blessings,
    Annie

  3. Hidemi Woods says:

    Thank you for a comment. Yes, I admit I implied SomeONE by that something. I turned to Him about 15 years ago when I was in the dead end of my life. I was born again there, too. I understand we don’t need to be afraid by being with Him, not even of death. And that means an eternal life. Thank you again. Many blessings to you.

  4. cat9984 says:

    I’m glad that things are working out for you.

  5. I love your transparency. My relationship with the God I know is more of a father-daughter one. He’s the perfect Father. My earthly one is flawed just like me. What we see as punishment sometimes is what I call ‘lessons learned.’ You write well…

  6. dawnfanshawe says:

    Lovely illustrations, Hidemi. Reaping what we sow can indeed turn into real blessings when we learn their message and repent. Good you know the power of forgiveness for yourself and have learned to be grateful. May you be filled with joy.

  7. usfman says:

    I observe from your blog example that people in Japan are much more willing to rise or fall in the company of others. Americans of a more individualistic kind would be less likely to do so communally.

    • Hidemi Woods says:

      Most Japanese people prioritize being in a group and acting as a member of a group. They prefer doing similar things as others do to being individual. Thanks for a comment!

  8. craig lock says:

    All the best with your song-writing and music, Hidemi
    Best wishes and have a great weekend
    craig

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