Hidemi’s Rambling No.496

by Hidemi Woods

MusicMarketplace.com

***** 88th Planet Project *****

The Catholic school I attended had an annual event of a movie viewing. One year, the school selected a movie about Jesus Christ’s life. In the final scene, Jesus looked straight at me, which I mean was straight at the camera, and said, “I am with you always.” That line startled me. For the first time, I realized he was always with me and I was touched by the thought. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I had a hard time to see the stairs on my way out of the movie theater because of my tears and to hide them from my friends at the same time. I had been exposed to the Christian teachings routinely through a Bible class and a daily morning prayer at school. Yet, I had never thought about it deeply like this before. As a teenager, I had believed that nothing good would ever happen to me in the future and I would have to endure a life in the prison-like world. I had constantly felt lonely and hopeless. But what if Jesus was always beside me? I wondered how helpful it would be! Although I had had numerous bad incidents with nuns at school and been unable to get along well with them, I felt like I understood a fraction of the reason why they became nuns. Imagining being a nun can be much closer to Jesus, I suddenly wanted to be one. I talked about it casually to my best friend and she burst into laughter as she thought it was my new joke. I had told her seriously for days but that was even funnier to her. My decision to be a nun hadn’t changed after one week, and at last I dared to tell my mother about it. She just flatly said, “You’re too curious and tempting about sexual matters to be a nun.” Her remark was right enough for me to come to my senses and think better of it…