Hidemi’s Rambling by Hidemi Woods

Singer, Songwriter and Author from Kyoto, Japan.

Hidemi’s Rambling No.198

I don’t get along with people generally and it had been so back in kindergarten already. I hated everything there. Other kids seemed too stupid and childish to me. The activities in the class were relentlessly silly. The teachers treated us like a bunch of fools. But seeing other kids do, I always thought they were actually a bunch of fools. I wished they grew up and got smarter fast. Soon after I got in the kindergarten, going there every day became a torture to me. Sleeplessness on weekdays was my norm. I got fed up with the whole stupidities there and stopped talking with anybody. Some kids even believed that I was mute. They played outside at recess but I had never joined them. I spent the recess alone in the classroom, rounding the clay into balls and rolling it into strings. I didn’t make them to form something by them. Balls and strings were the finished products. When I used up the whole chunk of my clay, I reversed the balls and strings to a wad and started making them all over again. I spent two years just doing that everyday while I was disgusted by other kids playing, jumping, and screaming outside childishly…

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Hidemi’s Rambling No.197

I don’t have a child and probably won’t have one all my life. But in my dreams, I’ve cuddled my baby for several times. It’s a boy and always the same baby, and I firmly believe I have a child in a different dimension. One day, in my dream, or in that dimension, I saw him in his twenties. It was the future. He lived in a secluded village and was devoted to an unfamiliar future sport. He didn’t notice me as I was watching him from somewhere far. I was so happy to see my baby have grown up and see him not working at an office as a businessman. An elderly man passed by me and I asked him about the sport my son was practicing intently. My question was if the sport was some kind of official, recognized, or popular, which was somehow a possible way to make money. He told me that this sport was completely unknown to the public and there was no event or competition, thus it never brought money whatsoever, not a cent. I burst into tears for joy. Not only he didn’t become an office worker for a steady income, but also he chose the profession that was totally unrelated to money or fame. He wasn’t interested in them. His only interest was the sport. I couldn’t stop crying for joy, thinking how ideally he had grown up and what a perfect son he was to me. I felt thoroughly proud of him and grateful for him to become as he was. Since I saw that dream, I’ve felt more confident of myself, because I’ve raised an honorable child in the other dimension…

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Hidemi’s Rambling No.196

My parents married by an arranged marriage. Marriage used to be a knot between two families, not individuals in Japan. A mutual acquaintance introduced my parents to both families with their photographs. Although my parents didn’t like each other, the tie as the family seemed favorable to their parents. My mother agreed with the marriage very unwillingly after the fortuneteller said that she would handle money by the hundred million if she married my father. As for my father, he reluctantly obeyed his parents’ decision because he had never said ‘no’ to his father in his life. A month after the wedding, my mother decided to leave my father because she couldn’t stand to live with his parents any longer. She went back to her parents’ home but her father didn’t allow her to come back. She had no place to go and gave in to her dismal marriage. And I was born. I wasn’t the result of a happy marriage, but I embodied my mother’s resignation…

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Hidemi’s Rambling No.195

My mother turns to a fortuneteller when it comes to a big decision. Every big decision that has fundamentally influenced her life was made by a fortuneteller, including her marriage. When my parents named their children, they of course had a fortuneteller choose ones. So, I was named by a total stranger. My parents had their each pick for my name when they visited the fortuneteller and they also had a few other names as spares just in case. The fortuneteller picked ‘Hidemi’ out of the spares, which was neither of their picks. Most Japanese names are written in Chinese characters. Each of the characters has its inherent meaning. My name is composed of two characters. The character for ‘hide’ means ‘excellent’ and the one for ‘mi’ means ‘beautiful’. In Japan, we are often asked the corresponding characters to the name when we give out our names. I always explain ‘Hidemi as in excellent and beautiful.’ And the person who hears it almost always gives me a wry smile. I know how they feel…

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Hidemi’s Rambling No.194

It’s the weekend for GP of Canada. One time, when I was in Montreal, I got the information for a pit stop competition as one of the race week events. It was a free event in which the team crew competed for the fastest time of their pit work. I went to the circuit but nobody was there except for a few staff members who were preparing for the GP. At a couple of the gates, the staff stopped me saying that there was no event today. But because I was adamant about the pit stop competition, they let me through with suspicious looks. At the last entrance gate to the circuit, though, I was decisively denied to go through. I repeated about the event and they called the security staff. They discussed the matter together by talking over their walkie-talkies. They couldn’t confirm the event and told me to leave. It was a long walk from the subway station and I didn’t want to make this an unnecessary trip. Enclosed by the circuit, there stands a casino. I played there not to waste my trip. I lost a lot of money instead. The next day, I found out that the pit stop competition was held at a closed section of the street downtown Montreal. In Japan, the similar event is usually held at a circuit during the GP week and I was certain it was the case in Canada, too. I felt so embarrassed about my blindly assured manner to the circuit staff, based on a false assumption. Above all, what a costly event it turned to, thinking of the money I lost at the casino…

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